A Nightmare Begins with Boris.

The Scotch – what a verminous race!

Canny, pushy, chippy, they’re all over the place.

Battening off us with false bonhomie;

Polluting our stock, undermining our economy.

Down with sandy hair and knobbly knees!

Suppress the tartan dwarves and the Wee Frees!

Ban the kilt, the skean-dhu and the sporran

As provocatively, offensively foreign!

It’s time Hadrian’s Wall was refortified

To pen them in a ghetto on the other side.

I would go further. The nation

Deserves not merely isolation

But comprehensive extermination.

‘Friendly Fires’ by James Michie. Published in The Spectator Magazine by then editor Boris Johnson. Yes, the United Kingdom’s next Prime Minister. It has since been removed from the magazines archive. Can’t possibly understand why.

Prick.

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